Lesson #10: Your weight does NOT determine your worth.

I remember growing up wishing for nothing more than to be thin.

I was 11 years old dieting and working out instead of just being a kid. To this day, I know that my relationship with food and exercise would not have gotten so out of hand if I would have just been able to enjoy my childhood. People always had something to say. It was like they never thought I was good enough. I know that’s not the case now, but as a child, I didn’t understand their reasons —however valid they could have been. I only heard, “You need to change because you’re not worthy.”

So, for years, I went on diet after diet just hoping that I would finally be accepted as I am. But I never was. Even when I got down to my smallest weight, people would say, “Keep going!” or “Don’t give up!” What? I thought this was finally good enough. I felt good in my body and was happy. Why couldn’t they see that? It was so damaging, and I spent years after continuing to let others decide what I should do with my body.

It wasn’t until college that things began to change. I discovered the growing world of plus size fashion. I discovered bloggers like Gabifresh and Stephanie Yeboah. Hearing their stories gave me the courage to stop focusing so much on my appearance, and instead live my life.

I finally understood that my worth and my weight had nothing to do with each other. Yet, even after this realization, it took me years to fully internalize the meaning. To do that, I had to go on a journey. And so will you.

Embarking on my own body love journey has been transformative. It has shifted my focus from pursuing an unattainable body ideal to nurturing and appreciating my body for what it is and what it does for me.

This shift in mindset has led to healthier decisions regarding my body. Gone are the days of restrictive eating, excessive workouts, and punishing my body for not fitting a certain mold. Instead, I’ve embraced a lifestyle centered around balance and mindfulness. This includes balanced meals that are not about restriction but about nourishment. I focus on what foods make me feel good, provide energy, and are enjoyable to eat.

Similarly, my approach to exercise has evolved from a relentless pursuit of burning calories to an appreciation of mindful movement. Exercise is no longer a job but a celebration of what my body can do. Whether it’s a gentle yoga session, a brisk walk in nature, or a dance class, the goal is to enjoy the activity and feel good, rather than to alter my body’s appearance.

True happiness and contentment really does come from within. It's about accepting and loving yourself as you are at this very moment. This doesn’t mean that you stop striving for improvement or health goals. Rather, it means that these goals come from a place of love and respect for your body, not from a place of self-loathing or societal pressure. Do what you feel will be best for your body. Resisting these messages and staying true to a path of self-acceptance requires strength and resilience. But the rewards are immense. When you detach your worth from your weight, you open yourself up to a world of self-compassion, better choices all around, and genuine happiness.

As you embark on or continue this journey, remember to be patient with yourself and give yourself lots of grace. You to this.

Until next time lovelies,

Ellie Mariyo