Lesson #9: Therapy works.
My first experience with therapy sucked.
At the beginning of 2022, I decided I was going to get a therapist. She seemed cool, and we had virtual sessions once a week. But after a couple months, I was not impressed. I felt like all she was doing was justifying my decisions back to me. When, at that time in my life, what I really needed was someone to challenge my thoughts. I ended up ghosting her —so not mature! Needless to say, I decided therapy wasn’t for me.
2022 was a rough year though. I was going through a divorce, and while things ended amicably, it was still emotionally draining. Nobody ever tells you all the questions that start to come to your mind when a marriage ends. “What will people think of me?” “Why did I marry this person?” “Will I ever find love again?”
By the end of the year, I had lots of questions with no real understanding of how to begin to answer them. I ended up talking to my sister about things, and she told me I should get back into therapy. She let me know that it’s normal to spend time looking for the right therapist. Everyone won’t be a good fit, but I shouldn’t let one bad experience deter me from the whole idea.
So, at the beginning of 2023, I found another therapist. And….she was phenomenal! Because of her, I wholeheartedly embraced therapy. I felt so free and understood, yet I was challenged to grow. This is how therapy is supposed to feel. One of the most profound moments came towards the end of last year when I said to my therapist, "I feel more like me." It wasn't that I didn't feel like myself before, but through therapy, I gained an increased level of self-awareness. I understood better what I wanted and needed from myself and from others. It was a beautiful moment.
"I feel more like me." It wasn't that I didn't feel like myself before, but through therapy, I gained an increased level of self-awareness. I understood better what I wanted and needed from myself and from others.”
The fundamental reason therapy is so effective lies in its ability to provide a safe space for voicing our thoughts and feelings. It's about making the intangibles tangible, giving form to thoughts and emotions that often linger in the shadows of our minds. Verbalizing these thoughts is a crucial step to confronting them. It's about facing rather than fleeing from our innermost fears, anxieties, and uncertainties. Having a professional like a therapist, life coach, or mentor to guide this process is invaluable. They provide a non-judgmental ear and offer insights and strategies to navigate complex emotions and situations.
Therapy has not only helped me understand myself but also rethink how I relate to others. It has improved my relationships by teaching me effective communication and to have as much empathy for myself as I have for others. Lastly, it has equipped me with tools to manage stress and anxiety, leading to better decision-making.
These lessons extend far beyond the sessions themselves. They infiltrate every aspect of my life, from how I approach challenges to how I celebrate successes. Therapy has been a journey of accepting my vulnerabilities and recognizing my strengths. Can I get an “Amen”???
If you’re considering therapy, I’ve put together a list of resources to help you find the therapist that’s right for you.
Resources for Finding a Quality Therapist:
2023 marked a significant turning point in my life, particularly in my journey of self-discovery and mental well-being. Because of this, I’m ready for whatever 2024 has in store, and I want the same for you!
Until next time lovelies,
Ellie Mariyo
